Not a day goes by that someone doesn't make an off hand comment about my son that may seem innocent enough but to a parent of a child with many challenges it can get to be alot and some days i want to scream "mind your business stop presuming you know my child's problems!" I realize he has no outward signs of autism and no one would just know to look at him but it still hurts. On top of autism he also has severe eczema caused mostly by allergies so he always has skin rashes and constantly itches and often has bags under his eye "allergy eyes". So as i walk thru a store i always get the comments, oh has someone been crying?, got some bug bites little man?, oh my whats wrong with his skin?, Is someone tired?I could go on and on with the comments, is it just my kid? i know i don't walk up to strangers and say things about there kids unless it is too say, oh how cute. Sorry for the rant it has been a long week.
Today was a fun day we don't often go out to do things other than errands or to the park, but i decided to give it a whirl and go out for lunch at out local cafe. First thing the waitress comes over and engages him asking him his name and he just gives me the look of panic"mom why is she talking to me help!" So i answer for him and say he is shy. Oh cutie how old are you? Are you this many? He completely ignores her and points beyond her to some decorations on the wall. I know that they don't realize the pain they cause me on the inside as they are just reminding me that he is not like other kids so i proceed to order before she asks him more question and he gets upset. Our meal time goes great he enjoys his lunch and doesn't have any melt downs thank god. As we go to leave he notices the many fans around to keep the place cool. So much for no melt downs. I sigh since i know now it is gonna be a challenge to get him out. For about a month now he has had an obsession with fans. Any parent of an autistic child I'm sure knows the fun involved in obsessions. I spend most of my day turning our fans on and off depending on mood, there is not a fan in my home that can be off, When he gets up in the morning he leads me around to all the rooms to be sure they are all on. So we are in cafe and he "needs" this fan to be on or his world will come to an end, and trust me that is how he feels and acts accordingly! He is now repeating in an increasingly loud panic voice "fan on!" as the people around start to look on in puzzlement i try to diffuse the situation calmly i reach for his hand and of course he recoils in terror, lol nothing like your child acting like you beat him mercilessly every time you try to touch him. I smile and stay calm as his voice increases more and i notice a showcase full of toy cars! Yes he loves cars so i slowly reach for him as i point to cars and tell him want to climb up to mommy to see cars! Yes he took the bait! We go over to see the cars he is in my arms now so i don't need to worry about a fall on floor tantrum when i try to pick him up i am in control now and we are able to leave with little problems. Home we go.
I love my son and wouldn't trade him for anything. Our everyday challenges can be stressful but he always makes me smile. Even as he throws himself on the floor to avoid my touch i have to laugh a little to think how lucky he is to be in a loving and patient family because i know alot of children in his situation might be neglected and ignored or even just assumed to be "bad" kids when truly it is not their fault. I know that he cant help it and only hope i can help him live life to its fullest.